Reader,

I have a friend who sold his company for millions. And yet, if you were to see snapshots of his life, you'd never know this about him.

This guy drives a mid-2000's Honda Accord. He routinely walks through his house to turn off lights that have been left on in empty rooms. When he goes out to eat at restaurants, he refuses to order anything other than water to drink.

My favorite story about him is this: one time, he saw someone throwing out an old bag of golf clubs. They weren't just used. They were absolutely no good, with loose heads and crumbling handle grips. But, as he excitedly told a bunch of us, he rescued this set of clubs. In fact, he was downright giddy about his plan to fix them and use them the next time he went golfing.

As I sat there, watching him, I couldn't help but marvel. "You've got the money in your couch cushions to buy the most expensive bag of golf clubs known to man," I thought. "And you wouldn't even feel it!"

However, no matter how much money this guy has, he'll always be prone to think: "I've got enough for today. But will I have enough tomorrow?"

Welcome to primal question #2: Am I secure?

Last week – in this series on Mike Foster's Seven Primal Questions framework – I talked about the first primal question: Am I safe?

That might sound awfully similar to Am I secure?, but there's a significant difference:

• The first primal question asks, Am I and/or those I love in danger of being physical or emotionally harmed?
• The second question asks, Do I have enough? Specifically, Do I have enough emotional and financial resources to protect myself and those I love?

What triggers PQ2 people? Any sign, risk, or even remote possibility that they'll run out of financial or emotional resources. You can see that in my description of my friend's actions above.

Now, my friend and other PQ2's have a great gift to offer the world: they can make great partners and great providers because they're capable of creating stable environment. They can be trustworthy leaders and friends.

Provided, that is, they ground themselves in their primal truth:

I am capable of financial and relational security. I'm not a little kid anymore who must depend on others for that. I can actually take care of myself.

If your primal question is Am I secure?, your key practice is to identify signs in your life that you are okay. You are financial secure. You are relationally secure.

Remind yourself of the gifts and skills you have to make money and support healthy relationships.

When you do this, you can then bring your primal gift to others, creating security and stability for the companies, families, and relationships you're in.

You're loved.

You're not alone.

You've got this.

Dr. Jake