Reader,
If you (like me) grew up in the church, you're probably familiar with the Parable of the Sower:
“Listen! A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seeds fell on a path, and the birds came and ate them up. Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and they sprang up quickly, since they had no depth of soil. But when the sun rose, they were scorched, and since they had no root, they withered away. Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. Other seeds fell on good soil and brought forth grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. If you have ears, hear!” (Matthew 13:3b-9)
As I wrote last week, my first teachers taught me that this parable was referring to different types of people. Some are destined to be hardhearted; some are naturally eager-but-flaky; and some (the chosen) few are lucky enough th ave receptive hearts of rich soil.
What I've come to understand in recent years, however, is that the parable is more nuanced than this.
The different types of soil do not represent different types of people. Rather, they represent different heart conditions. Our hearts will be in different conditions at different points in our spiritual journey, which means that we can be rich and receptive at one time but stony and hardhearted at another.
Believe it or not, this truth is a gift. Recognizing it empowers us to pay attention to the vulnerability of our own hearts and the ever-changing conditions to which they are prone. when we understand the fantasies that can impoverish the soil in our hearts, we are equipped to make different choices and nourish our hearts to be full and rich.
The First Soil: A Hard Heart
The first heart condition presented by Jesus in this parable is hard-heartedness. We see it represented by the seed that fell "on a path." This seed does not make it out into the nutrient-rich soil where it can be tilled into the ground and take root. Instead, it remains on the surface and is eventually stolen by birds.
Jesus later explained to his disciples that the word of truth cannot penetrate a hard heart (Matt. 13:15). When such disciples refuse to hear God's whispers, his loving offers of healing are easily "snatche[d] away" by "the evil one."
In today’s terms, the hard soil can represent a heart that is inaccessible and defensive, hidden behind a wall of emotional self-protection. This type of soil may be the reality of someone whose heart has been hurt. Sealed off because of perceived threats, the hard heart successfully protects its owner from further harm. That said, it simultaneously repels what it needs: the life-giving truth, grace, and love of God and others.
Trampled by life and flattened by being tread upon again and again, the hard heart cannot receive the healing and transformational elixir of God’s loving touch. Instead, such a person prefers to go it alone even while secretly longing for real connection.
People who find themselves in this position have often bought into this specific "Happily Ever After" fantasy: "My happiness depends on another person."
That's a hard fantasy to reject when you've experienced hurt from those whom you love. But you learn that you don't need someone else's permission to be happy, you discover a freedom that fosters genuine connection – with God, with others, and with yourself.
If you find yourself in that position today, pray this tilling prayer:
Father, I’m afraid I’ve walled myself off in fear. Help me take wise risks of vulnerability with those I carefully choose. Soften my heart to the gentle whisper of your Spirit and the guidance of trustworthy people in my life. I release the fantasy that others must feel a certain way towards me for me to be okay. I let go of the need to wall up, please, control, or perform for those around me. I relinquish the illusion that my peace depends on them. I surrender to your love, your leadership, and your way.
You are loved.
I am for you.
You've got this.
Jake
PS – We're two weeks away from launching our next round of cohorts. There are just a few spots left in our Heart and Soul programs. If the soil in your heart is feeling dry, divided, or shallow, reach out today. I'd love to walk with you as you learn how to replenish and nourish your heart.