Reader, Do you know what makes me angry? I know so many people at risk of losing what matters most to them because they are trapped in the unsustainable grind of faith, family, and life. Deep down, they know this smothering grind is unsustainable, but they don't know how to break free. "If not this, then what else?" they wonder. The real deception of this monster called "the grind" is it makes you assume there's something wrong with you. Everyone else seems to be flourishing. Their lives look...
12 days ago • 1 min read
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash Reader, I had a session recently where my client started things off on a completely unexpected note. "I need you to help me die well," he said. He went on to explain he'd been diagnosed with stage four cancer. The doctors told him he had less than a year to live. Now, for the sake of his wife and his kids, he just wanted to die well. In a situation like that, what are we to do with the concept of our "calling"? We typically think that "calling" means: "my...
20 days ago • 1 min read
Reader, Don't just try to feel better. Try to be better. When we enter a new counseling or coaching relationship, we're often trying to fix our feelings. We say things like: "I just want to get rid of this anxiety that I'm carrying." "I'm tired of feeling down all the time." "I just want stop feeling exhausted by the grind of life." What we're really saying is: "Just help me feel better inside!" But the people who make the most progress in how they feel are the people who have the humility...
22 days ago • 1 min read
Reader, What do you do when you have a good dream — a dream you are willing to dedicate to the glory of God — and that dream doesn't work out? Perhaps you dream of getting married and having a family of beautiful kids, only to discover that you're infertile. Or maybe you have a gifting, one that people have affirmed all your life, and you long to build a beautiful business or create great art to the glory of God. But every door you approach seems to slam shut in your face. How do you...
26 days ago • 1 min read
Reader, The spring 7 Primal Questions workshop is in the books! Photo by Rob Gonzalez Last Saturday, 20 of us gathered to ... Name our primal question (aka our deepest emotional need) Identify the behaviors that that need pushes out of us Discover ways to stay grounded and choose mature, emotionally healthy responses to these triggers These takeaways aren't just pithy bullet points. Here's what one attendee said: [This workshop] made years of therapy make more sense. Therapy has always...
29 days ago • 1 min read
Reader, I used to want to be a rock star. I even tried to drop out of college to go on the road full time and start touring, but my dad wouldn't let me. (Thanks, Dad.) After college, I tried to get a "normal" job. However, after a year of stumbling along, I threw caution to the wind and decided to embrace my dream. "Music is my calling and my passion," I declared. Fueled by this conviction, I launched my music career with a fervent prayer: "God, if you give me this platform, I'll honor you...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Reader, The forces that drive our behavior — both wanted and unwanted behaviors — are explained really well by Mike Foster's 7 Primal Questions framework. Over the past several weeks, I've been going through his framework, question by question. I'm even leading a live workshop on it tomorrow. Why? Because I think it's a great tool for people who want to understand and meet their deepest emotional needs. Recently, one reader asked me, "But what if I don't like my primal question?" I thought...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Reader, Why is it that you behave the way you tend to behave? It's because you're carrying one of 7 Primal Questions around in your chest – a question that represents your deepest emotional need. For those of you who are new to this list, I've been doing a series on this this framework that was developed by Mike Foster. One reader asked a question that I thought was important to respond to: What if I feel like multiple primal questions – or even all of them – apply to me? The answer to that...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Reader, Did you know that Disney changed the ending to many of the stories in their beloved films? It's no accident that many of their films end the same way, with the lead characters' dreams coming true as they ride off into a happily ever after sunset. But that's often not how the original story went. For example, Pinocchio was initially written by a guy named Carlo Collodi in the late 1800's. In his version, Pinocchio still longs to be a real boy. However, unlike the classic you might have...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read